Yesterday I sent my wife to a private Hospital in Bangi. She complained of bleeding earlier and rushed out from school early.
The analysis from doctor is rather shocking. Our 8 weeks foetus (baby) died prematurely in her womb. I'm speechless. Loss for any words of comfort.
Today we went to Hospital Serdang for further check. Doctor there confirmed the result of the earlier diagnosis from the private hospital. She got an option to clean her womb or wait for any natural blood out. She opts to wait and decided to try traditional method.
That evening my wife's friend took me to a location near our house to pick some leaf from a certain tree ( I don't know its name in English). We made juice from that tree and my wife drank it.
Before I knew about the death of my foetus (baby) I did have a thought about a name that I would give should it be a boy. The name that came to my mind is "Firdaus". Firdaus is an arabic that could be translated as "the highest heaven", which is named Firdaus.
Certain tragedy in life (not this one) at a point I feel like I want to blame God. In other words, angry to God. I knew this is certainly wrong, but I just feel that way.
I knew God has been extremely kind to me all this while. I should not complain or feel like I did. The truth is that I am weak. A weak human being.
Please forgive me God. You are the most gracious. Please show me the righteous way.
